And Yet....

What is a blog for? Seems to me most blogs are largely self serving; creating importance where there is none. I stopped writing in this blog for just that reason- I'm just not that interesting. I'm not that well read, nor do I have particularly strong or conversational opinions to force on the world. So why bother?

And yet, the world spins at 1000 miles per hour, and so it seems, does my head. Alex is 4, I'm almost 30. Nicole is 21 months old, and does something fantastic on a daily basis. Work fills my head with numbers, complications, politics and general shenaniganery. Will I remember this time? Of course. Will I remember last week Tuesday? Not a cold chance in hell. Will I remember Alex's trip to see santa? Unlikely.

There's just to much stuff. I've always said it's better to be busy than bored, but this is ridiculous. I don't want to remember the blur, I want to remember the moments. Photos are fake moments in time where everyone smiles despite their true feelings, propaganda for the future. Words carry feeling. So I write. Not for anyone's particular consumption. Not to make a difference... not to be heard. I will write to remember all the insanity from the craziest part of my life.


So what's happened since November of 2008.... holy crap. There's been the birth of my daughter. There's been a recession carrying sweeping layoffs, promotions, and career changing moments. There's been a project car, a motorcycle trip and a finished (nearly) basement. There's been an epic blizzard and continuing battle with fitness. There's been epic bar nights, car accidents and fantastic broomball goals. Christmases, Halloweens and a million moments with my family... Three years gone in a blur, seemingly a blink. Impossible to catalogue, to reconcile.


And so I write again.

Pips (Alex)

Alex, now a full 16 months contiues to impress. Aside from bieng a little clingy around his parents, he's very independant and can entertain himself for long periods of time. He just grabbed a bowl of cereal off the table and his feeding himself. The boy loves fruit loops. It's easy to see the gears turning now as he figures stuff out - he mastered the old-school pop up seseme street freinds in about 5 minutes (including the tricky Oscar the Grouch dial.)

He's starting to get more comfortable at Daycare, he still cries when I first give him up, but ususally within a few minutes he's laughing and playing. He loves hanging out with the other kids. His social interactions with other people has also improved as a result.

Alex has finally recovered from his 3rd ear infection. Hopefully he doesn't get anymore lest his doctor start uttering the evil "tubes" word. Other than that he is pretty much indestructable - he's taken some pretty wicked spills, and as often as not will keep right on going. A few weeks ago he lost his balance and fell on his face - bloodied his nose- and he only cried for a minute. After I put him down he proceeded to run about, happy as a clam, with blood still ozzing from his nose. Future lacrosse player I guess.

Pips (Thanksgiving)

Well it's the time of the year for all the introspective bull crap. Some time next week Gentex will do something that in it's 34 year history, through the oil embargo, 9/11 and all the other ups and downs, that it's never done before: enforce and involuntary lay off. Right before Christmas. Yippie freaking Skippy. Some financial big wigs are actually saying we've transcended recession into depression, whatever that means. New car sales worldwide are down some 30%, so for a company that services almost exclusively the worldwide new car market, what percentage do you think we're going to ask. The truth is, I don't actually know; the fate of my own employees are is someone elses hands. My fate is with theirs: there is a very real possibility I could be among those who are laid off: a significant lay off of production workers will knock out some of the salaried management and support teams. So this weekend plods along, knowing that I return to work on Monday it's very possible I will have to show some of my team the door, or have a box for me to fill on my desk. Of course they might drag us along for another week as they try to wade through the murky waters of this economic uncertainty. So thanks for that.

As usual (See the last 26 years) my level of ambition is only surpassed by supreme lack of follow through (might be what's wrong with my long irons too). My momentarily glimpse of positive thinking appears to be over, returning me to the comfortable doldrums of general fatness and unhappiness. It was nice while it lasted. I'm not sure what I can do to motivate myself at this point, I have an uncanny ability to sabotage my own plans - it's almost as if I know what I'm going to do. The projects I'd like to work on cost money, which I don't have, and if the disgusting sick feeling of overeating won't stop me from doing it, well I have no idea what will.

Alex rocks as usual, he continues to amaze every day. I'll do an update for him sometime soon, kind of a sour subject, as fully a 3rd of his life in pictures are trapped on a crashed computer which is in the incapable hands of some dude at Best Buy.

Bah. I'll try this again when I'm in a better mood.

Pips (Broomball, work, pestilence and heat)

Well it's two days after my 1st broomball game (not counting the two scrimages) and I'm recovering nice The compitition has increased noticably now that preseason is over. I'm going to invest in those shin pads I didn't think I needed. My only major injury, a sore knee from plowing into the boards, is hardly even worthy of the term battle wound. The evenings of pratice with my new stick paid off nicely, I was much more comfortable on the ice, and made a nice play to set up the first goal of the game. Still running out of gas as the game goes on, so I'll be resuming jumping rope starting tonight. That certainly has helped.

Work continues to be frustrating, mostly because I just have far too many interesting things to do. Now that Amanda is working I don't have the freedom to work extra hours during the week, I can't go in early and I can't stay very late if I want to get any sleep, so I'm tied to about 11 hours max. Just not enough time! Unfortunately the supervision of the line is what seems to hit the back burner, not the projects, so the line has continued to falter. Not that I'm convinced my complete attention would make a difference. Either way I need to find a better way. I'm trying to leverage my team leaders better, but I haven't quite got the system working yet.

Alex seems have almost completely recovered from his ear infection, he's up to his usual shenanigans. I on the other hand have been oozing phlegm since yesterday. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night before Alex was ready to be on the prowl.

Our furnace is making some sort of terrible noise when it first turns on; I believe the bearings on the fan are shot, or there's something in there. I haven't had the chance to tear it apart yet. The last thing we need right now is a two thousand dollar bill for a new furnace.

Why are we here?

Welcome to my blog. The first thing you should know is I don't like grapefruit. The quote, from Douglas Adams, at the top of the page represents perfectly my outlook on life: it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. The harder you try to make sense of it, the less meaningful it becomes. Coming to terms with that is difficult, there's some balance of control and and acceptable chaos that is very difficult to define. So how can you tell if you are in control of your life or in the clutches of an international organization of evil? How can you tell if you are overstressed or just stressed enough? Are you winning or losing? What's the game anyway?!?

Future posts will be divided into two categories:

Posts titled as "Pips" are daily drivel that some select family members may enjoy reading and will include the day to day antics of one Nate, Amanda and Alex.

Posts titled "Breakfast" will be my attempt to eat the grapefruit (remember, the deeper meaning of that statement as at best, suspect, and is in all likelihood totally meaningless) and will contain my rants, rhetorical rubbish and musings, and can therefore be ignored. Mostly they are for me and my battle to understand the grapefruit of life.